Support, and Partners, and Writing

neil-gaiman:

I write, my husband used to, but rarely has time to delve into what I create. I understand this! But some folk in my life seem to think that, unless a partner is telling me 24/7 that my work is brilliant, I am not being supported. I think this is so much malarkey, the day -anyone- says everything I do is perfect is the day I stop asking their opinion. I’m curious to hear your thoughts though, as you’re married to someone creative. How does the feedback run?

 circusbones

I really like some of her songs and decisions and don’t like others. We talk. She really likes some of my stories and decisions and doesn’t like others. We talk. I love Amanda’s opinion but she’s one among dozens of people whose opinions I value. And neither of us is going to change the other one’s mind about anything (unless we do).

And (with the exception of THE OCEAN AT THE END OF THE LANE, which I kind of did write for her) Amanda doesn’t get to see things until they’re done, and she mostly doesn’t play me songs until they’re done. (And she won’t play me songs she thinks I won’t like.)

I’m  not writing my stories for her (unless I’m actually writing a story or poem for her) and she’s not writing her songs for me (unless she writes a song or a poem for me). We’re writing for ourselves and for the people who might like what we make.

Writing feedback is a good thing, but it’s not what I have a partner for, or what Amanda has me for. There are lots of people who can give us that. There’s nobody else who can love and entertain and delight me like Amanda.